Exploring How to Choose A Spouse
The Brief Ultimate Guide
The Equations of Life Series · Book One
The Brief Ultimate Guide
Exploring How to Choose A Spouse
By
The biggest decision of your life deserves more than a gut feeling. This short, practical guide gives you a simple scoring system for deciding who to marry, built on the four things that matter most over a 50-year relationship.
The ebook bought here arrives by email in minutes, with the printable worksheet and journal pages included.
- Price
- Ebook $7.77 · Paperback $12.99
- Paperback
- 102 pages · 5 × 8 in
- Ebook ISBN
- 979-8-9820561-0-8
- Paperback ISBN
- 979-8-9820561-1-5
The idea
Four factors, weighted by what lasts
You don't need a perfect person. You need to look back on a 50-year marriage and celebrate the choice you made. The book asks you to weigh each factor by how much it will matter over that whole stretch, then score honestly.
- ONETrustworthy45%
- TWOIntelligent25%
- THREEAttractive20%
- FOURWilling to Marry You10%
Free tool
Score Your Relationship
This follows the worksheet in the back of the book and opens with the book's worked example. Move the sliders to score someone you're serious about. Keep this information private. I strongly recommend that you don't do this assessment with your potential spouse watching. Be honest; don't round up out of hope.
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102 pages, 5 × 8 in, with the worksheet on facing pages and 75 lined journal pages in the back. Printed and shipped by Amazon.
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Buy on KindleEdición en español
Explorando cómo elegir a tu cónyuge
La edición en español estará disponible muy pronto, en ebook y en libro impreso.
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Disclaimer: This book and the scoring tool reflect my personal opinions and experiences only. They are not legal, financial, medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, and I am not a licensed professional in those fields. If you are having relationship difficulties, please seek professional help. How you choose to use this book is up to you; your decisions are your own. – Steven Miracle
Author
Steven Miracle
Author of The Equations of Life Series
Steven Miracle writes practical life advice built on simple, honest math: write down what actually matters, weigh it, and let the numbers keep you honest.
Before he and his wife got married, they each put $20 into a safe every day and marked an X on the calendar when both had paid in. At $40 a day, that came to more than $14,400 a year, and it proved they could trust each other as partners. They have now been together for almost 30 years.
That idea, measuring what matters and building trust on purpose, runs through everything he writes. The Equations of Life Series will go on to cover more of life's big questions: life advice, relationships, inventions and science ideas.
His books are published by Miracle Books.
Books by Steven Miracle
Explorando cómo elegir a tu cónyuge
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More Equations of Life
The next book in the series is in the works.
Free for readers
Worksheets and journal pages
Free printable copies of the tools from Exploring How to Choose A Spouse. If you followed the link in the ebook, you're in the right place. Download them, print as many as you like, and keep them private.
Appendix
Score Your Own Relationship
Be honest. This only works if you don't round up.
Name of the person you're evaluating:
Trustworthy (out of 45 points)
| Item | Max | Score |
|---|---|---|
| Financial honesty and reliability | 15 | |
| Follow-through on commitments and their word | 15 | |
| Emotional honesty and transparency | 15 |
Trustworthy subtotal: / 45
Intelligent (out of 25 points)
The type(s) of intelligence that matter most to you (academic, street smarts, emotional, financial, etc.):
Score based on those specific types: / 25
Attractive (out of 20 points)
| Item | Max | Score |
|---|---|---|
| Physical attraction today | 10 | |
| Confidence that this attraction will hold or grow over time (not fade) | 10 |
Attractive subtotal: / 20
Willing to Marry You (out of 10 points)
Have you had a direct conversation about marriage? (Y/N):
If yes, how clearly and consistently have they expressed that willingness: / 10
If no, this is a guess at best. Cap yourself at 5 points until you actually have the conversation.
Total score: / 100
My recommended threshold is 70. If the score is below that, don't panic, but be honest with yourself about which category is dragging the score down, and whether that category is one that's likely to change with time (like attraction or willingness) or one that tends to stay fixed (like trust).
When you are first getting to know someone, use the initial spouse score:
SI = T + I + A + W
SI stands for Spouse Score – Initial. T, I, A and W are your Trustworthy, Intelligent, Attractive and Willing to Marry You scores.
Once you have already gotten to know this person, and their trust and other qualities are well known, use this final spouse score:
SF = (T ÷ 45) × (T + I + A + W)
SF stands for Spouse Score – Final.
Apéndice
Evalúa tu propia relación
Sé honesto: esto solo funciona si no redondeas hacia arriba.
Nombre de la persona que estás evaluando:
Confiable (de 45 puntos)
| Aspecto | Máx. | Puntos |
|---|---|---|
| Honestidad y confiabilidad financieras | 15 | |
| Cumplimiento de sus compromisos y de su palabra | 15 | |
| Honestidad y transparencia emocionales | 15 |
Subtotal Confiable: / 45
Inteligente (de 25 puntos)
El tipo o los tipos de inteligencia que más te importan (académica, astucia callejera, emocional, financiera, etc.; enuméralos):
Puntuación según esos tipos específicos: / 25
Atractivo/a (de 20 puntos)
| Aspecto | Máx. | Puntos |
|---|---|---|
| Atracción física hoy | 10 | |
| Confianza en que esta atracción se mantendrá o crecerá con el tiempo (sin desvanecerse) | 10 |
Subtotal Atractivo/a: / 20
Dispuesto/a a casarse contigo (de 10 puntos)
¿Han tenido una conversación directa sobre el matrimonio? (Sí/No):
Si la respuesta es sí, ¿con qué claridad y constancia ha expresado esa disposición?: / 10
Si es no, esto es, en el mejor de los casos, una suposición: ponte un máximo de 5 puntos hasta que realmente tengan la conversación.
Puntuación total: / 100
Mi umbral recomendado es 70. Si la puntuación está por debajo de eso, no te asustes, pero sé honesto contigo mismo sobre qué categoría está bajando la puntuación y si es una que probablemente cambiará con el tiempo (como la atracción o la disposición) o una que tiende a mantenerse fija (como la confianza).
Cuando apenas empiezas a conocer a alguien, usa la puntuación inicial:
PI = C + I + A + D
PI significa Puntuación de Cónyuge – Inicial. C, I, A y D son tus puntuaciones de Confiable, Inteligente, Atractivo/a y Dispuesto/a a casarse contigo.
Cuando ya conozcas a esta persona, y su confianza y sus demás cualidades sean bien conocidas, usa esta puntuación final:
PF = (C ÷ 45) × (C + I + A + D)
PF significa Puntuación de Cónyuge – Final.